How to Unapologetically Reclaim Your Power with Karen Fagan

How to Unapologetically Reclaim Your Power with Karen Fagan

loyb podcast May 31, 2022

Learn what it can feel like to unapologetically reclaim your power to live your best life in Episode 74 of the Lean Out Your Business podcast. If you have been stuck in fear, too afraid to move forward in your life because you’re concerned about what other people might think or because you think your dream may be too impossible to achieve, then you won’t want to miss this interview with Karen Fagan. 

Karen Fagan is an International Empowerment Expert who is passionate about helping women reclaim their power and get exactly what they want in life. By teaching and coaching women how to uncover who they truly are, Karen helps women generate and experience extraordinary passion, pleasure, and purpose in their lives.

Show topics include:

  • Common things that get in the way of people getting exactly what they want (especially women)
  • How you can stop attaching meaning to the stories we tell ourselves
  • Why we are concerned with other people’s opinions 
  • How to recognize when you’re living in a fear state
  • How you’ll know when you are living your best life
  • How leveraging the Fagan Freedom Formula can change your life
  • What reclaiming your power looks and feels like
  • How to know if you are not living in your power
  • What happens when you relinquish your choice
  • Why your number one priority needs to be you (even if you are a mom)
  • Karen’s story and how she learned to reclaim her power

 

Links:

 

 


 

Transcript

00:08

Welcome to the lean out your business podcast, a show dedicated to helping entrepreneurs accelerate business growth in simplify success. I'm your host, Krista Grasso, and I've been working with businesses for more than two decades to help them lean out and optimize what's working, while eliminating anything that's not adding value. So if you are ready to get more time back in your day, more profit in your business, and to do business differently growing and scaling on your terms. Let's dive into today's episode. Hello, hello, and welcome to another episode of the lean out your business podcast. Today, I am super excited to introduce you to Karen Fagan. And we are going to dive in and talk all about how to unapologetically reclaim your power. So this is an really exciting topic and one that I think is applicable for those of us as business owners, but also just in our personal lives as well. So Karen, I'm so excited that you are here. Thank you for joining me today.

01:11

Thank you for having me, Krista.

01:13

Let me tell you a little bit about Karen. And then we're gonna dive right in. So Karen is an international empowerment expert. And she's really passionate about helping women to reclaim their power and get exactly what they want in life. And who doesn't want exactly what we want. She teaches coaches and women how to uncover who they truly are. So they can generate an experience extraordinary passion, pleasure and purpose in their lives. So I thought that would be a really great place to start today is if we know that people really should have that life that they really want. What do you think gets in the way of that happening? Especially for those of us who are entrepreneurs?

01:54

That's such a great question. And what I have found after coaching 1000s of women, what gets in the way, it comes down to just a few things. One is fear, a story that, you know, we heard, when we were young, you need to do this, or you won't make it. That's a huge one for most people. And then it's what holds us back is ourselves. And we get in our own way of having what it is we want through the stories of the past, but then what we attach meaning to when we think about stepping forward into purpose. So

02:37

let's dive into that a little bit more. And why do you think we do attach such meaning to things? And how do you break from that?

02:45

Oh, okay. So when Think about it this way, when we're born, when were young children were really told how to speak, how to act, how to behave, don't do this, or this will happen. And so that message, even though you know, some of that is for our own well being and safety, a lot of it is parents and teachers, people of outside influence really putting on to us what they believe getting a college education is the safest way. And we're not raised in a society that has us really question what we're being told at a young age like you're not supposed to question, right? And so that's really that way of being is really ingrained in most people. And how you know, that that's operating is if you want something if you want to achieve or have something and there's conflict going on. There's ultimately a story that you're operating from that is against goes against you actually having what it is you want.

04:00

Absolutely. Are there any examples that you see really commonly with people that you work with?

04:06

Yes. So let's use entrepreneurship. That you know, it's the most risky unsay, maybe I should get a job, you know, and it's really comes down to maybe I should stay safe as I'm taking the risk. Right? What will people think of me? If I follow my dream? That's a huge one. People are so worried about what people will think of them if they're actually happy.

04:34

Ah, that's the I feel like we could probably talk about that for the next four days. But isn't that so true is I feel like sometimes we almost feel worse about what people will think if we actually do have it all. Men, what people will think if we have struggles or challenges, or some of those other things, and why do you think that is?

04:57

We live in a society that's based in fear Unlock, and the saying misery loves company, right? As you're advancing towards what you want, there is a strategy, I always tell my clients do not tell anybody who can like with a fear or a delve into your mind, because you're gonna have fear and doubt, that's just part of the course as you would be on sport. And so you have to really be protected because most of the world is in fear. they're risk averse. And so if you want to pursue something in your life, you have to be very selective with who you share that with. Because people are going to want to pull you in, pull you back, you know, it takes a certain person to encourage you to advance and grow, most people want you to stay in the place that they know you, because that's where they're comfortable. Does that make sense?

05:59

Oh, my gosh, yes. And that is so so good. And so true. And I think that entrepreneurs are a bit of a rare breed, right? So we're in a good company with people who naturally do take risks, and who naturally do put themselves out there. But I think it doesn't change the fact that there's probably so much of this internal battle that's going on and conditioning, that really is challenging.

06:23

Yeah, what I, you know, when I stepped into entrepreneurship, I had my daughter, she was really young, I was the only parent the only income. And, you know, I knew it was what I was meant to do. But I also was like, this is really crazy, you're just going to take this leap of faith, without any safety net. So what I told myself is you cannot tell anybody who lives in fear anybody that really loves you, because it's gonna seem more real crazy to them if they're not an entrepreneur. And that's really how I learned that strategy.

06:59

So how can somebody recognize when either they're in a fear state, or when they're holding themselves back in, they're really meant for something more,

07:09

you can tell, number one, by the way, you feel the way that you feel is your compass to living your best life or to know if you're living your worst life. So that's number one. It's like, if you're angry, if you're down depressed, hopeless, if you have low energy, if your energy level matches and reflects your passion level, so how you feel is a huge, significant key to your fear. And then the other piece is paying attention to the conversations you're having. One thing that I have recognized with my clients is when they're about to advance forward, and their fear is percolating inside, they call someone up who will validate that fear. And so you have to be very mindful and know when you're in a state of fear, by the way you feel by the thoughts you're thinking, and then you have to be very selective at who you call who you speak to, you know, you have to get masterful at that. That is the only way that you will move beyond the fear. And the truth is, as you have to embrace it, because fear doesn't go away, you just become better at navigating through the fear.

08:40

So good, especially we call somebody to validate how we're feeling. So true. It's so so true.

08:49

You have to, you have to be able to say, I am afraid, and if I call this person, the conversation is gonna go this way. But if I call Krista, she's gonna validate every reason why, meaning you to step forward and do the thing. And that's how you know, when you're in fear, you have to build a foundation around you that elevates you and doesn't bring you back down to the misery and pain. Because there's a lot of that in this world. And most people aren't conscious and awake, to the level of fear and lack they're operating in.

09:27

Well, I think that's what's so powerful about the work that you do, because your clients are a learning that they are in a state of fear, but be they have you to go to because they're always going to have that person that doesn't let them stay there that helps push them forward. And I think that that's so magical about the work that you do, but just about having that trusted community of people, that business coach that you know, mentor, whatever it is that you need, you need that person I think that you can go to who's going to push you for Word, instead of keep you stuck, right where you're at,

10:02

it's so true, you know, I want to share this, I have a client who said this yesterday, she was talking in my mentorship group, all my clients were on a call. And she said, Karen, working with you is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. She buried her child, she had a child that died. And she said, that wasn't even as difficult as this. And it's because through the process of entrepreneurship, you face yourself. It's like you against you. And it's the invitation to grow into who you want to become, and the life you want to live.

10:40

I love it. And I think you have a process and a formula that you walk people through to be able to do this. So can you tell us a little bit about your begun freedom formula, which is the best name ever? Well,

10:53

I would love to tell you. So part of the formula is getting yourself in a feel good state, everything that you want in your life, whether it's more money, whether it's a empire, whether it's traveling, a better relationship, a better body, the number one reason that you want that is based on what you believe you'll feel once you have it. And so getting yourself in a feeling state of feeling good, which means taking care of yourself, not skipping over yourself care, that sets you up to actually have what it is you want. Think about this, right? When you're don't when you don't feel good. What's the tendency is to do more things that don't make you feel good, right? When you're in fear. Lots of people go eat a bag, a box of cookies, right? So the Fagin freedom formula. Number one, it's all about feeling good treating yourself as the person who has the life that you're creating. That's number one. And then the other part is having routines that support your growth of what you're growing into. And having the discipline, you know, to be consistent. And to follow through, there was just some of the parts of the Freedom formula.

12:25

I love it. So good. And so I feel like all of that is so important, and so foundational. And if you don't do those things, and don't put it in place, you are working harder, instead of smarter, and just really setting yourself up for her rough ride.

12:41

This is important. So if you're in a career, and you want to leave and step into entrepreneurship, right, wherever you are the Fagan freedom formula, you have to get that in place now. Because you won't be able to take on more and be successful. Right? This is foundational, you are the foundation of whatever you create in your life. And so if the time isn't right for you to step into entrepreneurship, or, you know, you're having fear work on these foundational pieces that I just described, because it will shift you, it will shift you and it will build your confidence. And when you have greater confidence, you can handle fear more. Right?

13:24

Absolutely. And so one of the things you talk about a lot, and I know what we're gonna really dive into in this episode is all about reclaiming your power. And so can you walk us through? What do you mean when you say that? And why do you think that it is especially important for women and for female entrepreneurs,

13:42

it's so important because you are a leader, as a woman, whether you're in business, you are a leader, you probably have children, a family, and reclaiming your power. When you're in a place of power, you think differently, which means the solution to all your problems, you will see, when you're disempowered, you really are trying to find solutions to problems from a disempowered place. And I'm telling you right now, it does not work, you are going to create more problems for yourself. And so to reclaim your power is to number one, recognize that you're not in your power and how do you know by the way you feel by the thoughts you think. And so then what you do is you have to think, Okay, what is the next best thought I can think and you have to start to shift into reclaiming your power. And the easiest way that I find I don't like the way this feels. I don't like the thoughts. I'm thinking. I don't like the results I'm having. So I am going to claim my power and make it happen. And it can really be that simple.

14:54

Yeah, it sounds like it's just a recognizing and then be making the choice that you're not going to stay there.

15:01

making the choice and women people relinquish that choice. And I'm just gonna say this and then they're in a victim mentality. When you relinquish your power to change your situation in your life, you are in a victim state in your life, your business, your money, your happiness will never ever, ever, ever get better. So when you're in your power, you radiate an energy, that's very attractive. And when you're in your power, it's you're aligned, you're being authentic, you're speaking and acting and behaving from that place. And it's very, very attractive. When you're in your power, you can really call an any opportunity, anything that you need, it's like instant can happen like that. And when you're disempowered, you're carrying an energy of like, just ooh, frustration, anger, unhappiness, and it's, I can only describe it as like your heads, like kind of down in life, and the opportunities that you really want. They're just passing you by. And so to become a magnetic woman, is to realize you're number one, your number one priority in life is you, I'm gonna say that, again, your number one priority in life is you. And that is something we don't grow up hearing. Right? I'm sure most listeners on this call, their mother never said, You're the number one priority. And we were taught sacrifice, you know, if you put your dream and your self first, it's wrong, and we feel guilty. And so being able to realize when you feel good, and you treat yourself as such, and you make yourself a priority, your energy is attractive. You feel like you can do anything, like anything and everything is possible, like nothing is impossible, when you're in that flow of alignment and connection to the truest part of who you are. So good.

17:17

And so if somebody is really struggling to step in their power, and they have some of that guilt, and maybe they are a mom, and they feel like well, I can't put myself first I need to put my kids first or maybe they have a team and they think well, I need to take care of my team first. And you know, I'll pay myself last or I'll take care of myself last, what do you tell people to move beyond that and to really get started and recognize not only the importance, but the fact that you actually should put yourself first?

17:45

Well, number one, it's realizing how you feel when you're out pouring for everyone else, you don't feel good. Guilt doesn't feel good. Taking care of the world. And disregarding yourself, it does not feel good. And what you know, I want women to know is that if you're thinking about it, if you want it, it's yours to have. And when you put yourself first, your whole entire world becomes better. So let's use you know, a woman with children not putting her dream first. Well, I am sure you're being short with your children and being snippy. And I know because I coach women, right? I'm a mom, I had a young daughter at one time, right? When you're feeling guilty, when you're not taking care of yourself, when you're dis regarding your dream. Your world isn't that great? Because it's like it's oozing out of you. Right that you're that unhappiness. And so giving yourself permission and only you can give yourself permission, you don't need your husband, you don't need your best friend, you don't need your sister, your mother, you need no one to give you permission to put yourself first. And I'm telling you, once you have the courage to do that everything in your life is going to become amazing. It's going to become beautiful. And the only person stopping you from doing that is you and the thoughts that you're thinking. It is not wrong for you to put yourself first. And if you are a mother, you want to teach your your daughters, your nieces. How how do you make yourself a priority? It's such a beautiful gift, right to teach your daughters to teach your nieces and to really embody that.

19:43

Yes, I love it. And so tell us a little bit more about your story. How did you how did you get on this path? Why is this something that you are so passionate about? I am

19:53

very passionate about this because I found myself pregnant at age 23 You and I had a decision to make. And it was a decision to advance forward in my life and be empowered is ultimately the decision I made. And my decision to have my daughter, I made that commitment in that moment, I was going to show her what an empowered woman is, I wasn't going to bring her into the world and be a victim of my situation. No, that's not that's really what got me on my path. And so, you know, that's my crossroad. You know, I've had another, you know, situation happen, where it's an event happens in your life, and you have a choice to be disempowered and be a victim, or you have the choice to say, Who am I going to be about this. And my decision is always to be empowered. It's always to rise and be better become better, because I ultimately believe that's what an obstacle a challenge, right when something is given to us that we don't think we can handle or it doesn't make sense. Having my daughter at 23 did not make sense. But in my heart, I knew for whatever reason I had to do it, and what I believe today, it's to get me to exactly where I am today and doing the work that I do.

21:24

That's so beautiful. I love that. And I do think in every challenge, and I've been talking about that a lot lately on the podcast, there are opportunities and you can choose to, you know, feel all the fields for five seconds, by all means, feel all the fields, but you don't want to stay there, you don't want to stay in the woe is me or the victim mentality, you want to look for the hidden meaning in it, you want to look for the hidden opportunity in it, you want to leverage it as a catalyst for some sort of really positive change. And I just love the way that you approach every single thing that happens in your life that way.

22:01

Thank you. It's like, whatever the challenge is, your mind has to be clever and say, what is the invitation for me, it is always an invitation to step up and become more of who you truly are. Right? The challenge is never about taking you out. Only if you let it right, the challenge is to to help you grow into Be the best version that you can possibly be. But your mindset has to know that.

22:29

So if somebody is, you know, listening to this and saying, Okay, I need to work with her, I need to know more about this woman. And yes, you need to know more about Karen, where can they find you and tell us what's going on in your world and what's coming up next for you.

22:43

So what's going on in my world? coming up shortly, I have the mentorship which is a group of women that I coach, and I'm bringing them together for a retreat, which is super powerful. The beauty of bringing women together, you know, often we think we're the only ones that have the problem. You get a roomful of women together and you realize we kind of all have the same challenges. So my mentorship, I have that coming up. And then if people want to reach out and connect with me, you can find me on Instagram at Karen Fagan. You can click on the Karen fagan.com forward slash magnetic dash woman. And check that out. That's where I teach you the formula to be a magnetic woman.

23:37

I love it. And everyone, all those links will be down in the show notes. I definitely invite you to check out Karen her work is really, really amazing. And she does an amazing job with her Instagram. I always look forward to seeing your posts. Thank you. Alright, so I have a question. I want to ask you that. I'm really excited. I ask everybody this and I always can't wait to hear what people say. And I really can't wait to hear what you say. But how do you work smarter, not harder and keep things lean in your business?

24:06

Great question, Krista. Number one is you gotta get yourself in that feel good state and you. You literally have to say, what is the priority? We talked about you making yourself the priority, but like what really is the priority? And what it comes down to each and every day. It's probably maybe three priorities. And training your mind to be focused on that and training your mind to see distraction because distraction who it's, you know, when you're up leveling. The like reaction is to take on a lot of stuff, but you don't necessarily need to write. And so if you can just stop for a moment and really ask yourself what are the priorities And what do I need to do, and building the wins, I think building a win and then building the next one. And so taking so much on, and that's when distraction, that's when incompletion happens. And so that's what I would say about working smarter, not harder, take care of yourself, number one, that's going to help you not burn out. And then number two is, know what your priorities are, and identify what your distractions are, and then remove them.

25:30

Yes, that was incredible is so good. I love those tips. And so everyone, you're gonna find the links for Karen down in the show notes. Definitely check her out. And I want to ask you one last question before we round this episode out. And that is, do you have any final tips for entrepreneurs, especially female entrepreneurs, as they are looking to reclaim their power and really, unapologetically step into that next level?

25:57

Yes, make the decision about who you want to be who you want to be about the problem that you're up against. And then step into it, you do not need to ask for permission, you need to put your dream and yourself as the priority and align with that. And I'll say this, you don't have a lot of time for messing around. You just don't. Your dream, your purpose, it was placed in your heart for a reason. And so you have to be committed to that you have to be more committed to stepping forward into what it is you want, then committed to being stuck and in fear. That is the choice. So it's all about making a decision about who you are going to be about it. And then act accordingly to that.

26:53

Brilliant. Love it. I feel like that's the mic drop moment right there. Everyone, I hope you got as much value out of this episode as I did. I will see you again next week. Thank you for joining me for another episode of the lean out your business podcast. I hope you got a lot of value and actionable insights from today's show. And we'd love if you take a moment to leave us a review. If you have any questions on today's episode or on how to lean out your business. Join us over in our private Facebook community, where every week we do live training and q&a. And I'd love to have you be part of the conversation. Head to lean out method.com/group to join us. And before you go, be sure to subscribe to the show. So you're the first to know when we release a new episode. We'll see you next week.

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by Crista Grasso

Crista Grasso is the go-to strategic planning expert for leading global businesses and online entrepreneurs when they want to scale.  Known as the "Business Optimizer", Crista has the ability to quickly cut through noise and focus on optimizing the core things that will make the biggest impact to scale a business simply and sustainably. She specializes in helping businesses gain clarity on the most important things that will drive maximum value for their clients and maximum profits for their business.  She is the creator of the Lean Out Method, 90 Day Lean Out Planner, and host of the Lean Out Your Business Podcast. She is also the founder and CVO of the Profitable Planner Co and Criscara Jewelry.

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